• “Are you talking about Anne of Green Gables? [followed by any quote from the 1985 miniseries]”
  • “I f*cking hate Terry Gross”
  • “Who dat?!” [this only works outside New Orleans]
  • “Excuse me, but does your t-shirt say ‘Herzog’ in the Danzig logo?”
  • “I bet we can’t do cartwheels and make out at the same time”
  • “Have you ever read ________?”
  • Quoting any line from a Neutral Milk Hotel song [this only worked between the years 1999-2005, sorry]
  • “I’ve always wanted to visit Marfa, TX”
  • “Can I buy you a Shirley Temple?”
  • “I bet I can roll down this hill faster than you”
  • A drunken recitation by heart of “The Highwayman”
  • “Do you wanna go to Tower Records with me and get a Mary J. Blige record?”