Me: I had a spinster meltdown the other week

I found myself doing needlepoint alone on a Friday night

while watching a documentary

needlepoint

it sort of exemplified the slow giving up that leads to spinsterdom

I’m one tiny step away from needlepointing cats on my sweaters

it was a mike tyson documentary

I feel the need to clarify

Him: that’s actually a pretty good film

at least interesting

and also comforting in the fact that you’re not married to mike tyson

Me: the point is, I’M DOOMED

Him: Your meltdowns can be adorable, at least from a distance.